Where are my purple people at? Ah, the timeless art of writing vague statements apply to everyone but feel like they only apply to specific people. It’s a horoscope for people who like purple. Some of the statements here are just facts. Yes, we all know purple was the color of royalty, and if you paid attention in history class, you remember it was a rare dye that the Phoenicians obtained from a species of predatory sea snails. Other phrases such as, “you refuse to be ‘swept off your feet’ unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely ascertained,” cover this mug. Let’s just take a moment to look at that attribute. First, that’s an awful sentence. Second, who meets someone and thinks, “I hope this person is awesome, I develop feelings, and then find out they were just faking it!” Some of the other statements are just platitudes that we all want to believe about ourselves such as, “having noble ideas.” Maybe I’m just a cynic when it comes to horoscopes, personality colors, and other simplistic representations that have to apply to large swaths of the world's population all at one time. I think people are just too complex to be accurately captured because of when they were born or what color they prefer. In much the same way, coffee is often more than the simple characterization of its roast.